Time Of Your Life

It's the time of your life tonight.

Look up at the stars, 

Now look into my eyes,

Ponder all my thoughts,

And kiss the stars goodbye;

Cuz tonight could be the time of your life

Hold my head in your hands,

Don't let any words be left unsaid.

Love me sweetly, oh touch me gently;

And don't you dare say goodbye;

Cuz tonight could be the time of your life.

Yes tonight will be the time of your life

Oh it's the time of your life,

Yeah it's the time of your life.

Of it's the time of your life,

Yeah it's the time of your life,

Tonight.

Kiss me, kiss me tell I'm gone.

Hold me in your arms, hold me all night long.

Listen to my heart,

Kiss me to the rhythm,

And honey don't miss a beat;

Cuz tonight is the time of your life.

Yeah tonight is the time of your life.

Oh it's the time of your life,

Yeah it's the time of your life.

Of it's the time of your life,

Yeah it's the time of your life,

Tonight.

Oh it's the time of my life tonight.

I look up the stars,

Then I look into your eyes,

And I'll kiss the stars goodbye;

Cuz they don't deserve to shine,

In the presence of those beautiful eyes.

Cuz tonight is the time of our lives.

Yeah tonight is the time of our lives.

Oh it's the time of our lives,

Yeah it's the time of our lives.

Of it's the time of our lives,

Yeah it's the time of our lives,

Tonight.

 

Questions

Has anyone ever told you,

How cold it is outside?

The wind is blowin' hard now,

And I'm lookin' for the light.

But in my darkest hour

You're right there by my side.

So hold me in your arms now,

And dance the night goodbye.

Oh,

You never leave me.

Oh,

You never hurt me.

Has anyone ever told you,

How cold it is outside?

Well baby that doesn't matter,

Cuz I fell in love tonight.

Has anyone ever told you,

How long I had to fight?

Well maybe it wasn't fair but,

It turned out alright

Cuz in my darkest hour,

I found my shinning light,

And your holdin' me in your arms now

As we kiss the night goodbye

Oh,

You always love me

And Oh,

You're always there for me

Has anyone ever told you

How long I had to fight?

Well baby that doesn't matter 

Cuz I fell in love tonight

Have you ever felt,

What's it like to be in love?

Free from all the heartbreak

A sign sent from above.

So take me by the hand

And I'll take you by the heart

I'll show you what true loving is

Before we say goodbye, tonight.

Cuz Oh,

You never lied to me

Oh,

I hope you trust in me

Have you ever felt

What it's like to be in love?

We if honey that ain't the case

Then we've sure waited to long

I am in love. 

Let It Die

I’m standing in the courtroom, The lights are dim, and even though the world around me was quiet but alive, mine seemed like it was slowly dimming and dying. I never meant to let it die. Your eyes meet mine, I catch your eyes, and that hypnotic green that once pierced through my soul no longer had the same breath- taking effect. I just don’t care about you anymore. I look down and turn away from your gaze, I turn around as I slowly begin to glide through the isles and of benches; I close my eyes. I rest my fingertips on the tops of the benches and allowed them to gently skim the smooth wood as I slowly felt a fire burning in my mind, trying to reignite a time that had long since died. I remember having time on our side, I remember feeling like we would have nothing to hide, in the beginning.. I remember taking your pain, and making it mine, but I watched as your passion slowly died... As it flew away on an empty and untimely breeze, as it drowned in a sea of regrets... I remember a kiss. I suddenly felt as if a jagged blade slashed across my heart, cutting deep and emptying sorrowful blood that took the memory with it as I was snapped back to reality. as soft, remorseful, but wanting tears quietly filled my eyes, I open them and see your shoes next to mine. I swear I never meant to let it die. I look up and meet your eyes again. I can’t tell if love or hatred pierce them, I couldn’t tell if you were finally calling me to come home, or forcing me to leave your presence forever... And quite frankly, I didn’t really give a damn what you were thinking. Your words rang through my head and pierced just as deeply as if they would in any manner; pleasant or malicious. “I’m going to mess you up Ray, so bad.” though I swear I could have sworn that I heard an “I miss you” underneath what appeared to me to be a forced distain. I just stare back at you blankly, apathy creasing my dying eyes as I mute your belittling and egotistical gaze and listen to your incessant gum chewing. Screw You. My thoughts seemed shallow and distant, my heart seemed broken and my intentions impure, but yet I still felt numb. I tilt my head up so I can look deeper into your eyes, and instantaneously, almost as if it was planned, almost as if it was a law written in the dark night sky inside the stars by Christ himself, I felt my jaw lock down on my teeth in rage. I felt my eyes go dark, I felt my being surge with a pain-of-loss that was quickly turned into a uncontrolable strife as I waited for the fire return to your eyes, even though I knew it had long since died. An indescribable wrath began to consume me as I waited for a deep sorrow and pain to paint your irides like I so craved they would so I knew that maybe, deep down, you were still alive. I waited for the love we had once since shared to return to your eyes, and I waited for the remorse of that loss of something so sacred and perfect to appear in your belittling and egotistical gaze, though  it never would. It was long gone. That passion had long since been dosed by my mistake, your diception, my trust, our hurt, and that same, never- ending cycle, repeated, sevenfold, each time we were forcefully thrown through it. It needed to die. What was once a beautiful illusion, a child of my idle mind, is now simply nothing more than one unmarked grave stone crowded in a never ending sea of lost loves and vein hopes; and maybe, just maybe, that’s how it was suppose to be, it was suppose to die. It deserved to die. Maybe what I did was right after all. 

To Be Continued

Sweet Miss All-In-Your-Mind ("Burnt" Poem Reprise)

Sweet love, Sweet kiss,
Sweet ignorant bliss.


Sweet Soul, Sweet heart,
Sweet all torn apart.


Sweet thought, Sweet care,
Sweet all-alone-there.


Sweet day, Sweet night,
Sweet Miss All-In-Your-Mind. 

What You Make Me Out To Be

Hypocrite, I hate your cruel manipulation.


Your double standards just keep dragging me down.


Your pain, your suffering;
It's all thrust upon me.
In extreme, heavy and unbearable doses.


You lead when you are not meant to lead.
You speak before you are spoken too, and you
Expect without being expected.


I hate you.


You try to heal, when you only hurt;
You try to darken me,
With your untamed words.


Twisting, turning.
Writhing, burning...


You speak my mind,
When you don't know the pattern.


You try to write the poems,
When you don't know the verse.


Write the description of my death sentence;
Bang the gavel against the grain.
Condemn me to your hell,
Condemn me to your reign.
Condemn me to your envy, your rage...


You say you know me so well,
So say my final words, with your final breath,
You know them just as well.


Well... don't you?
Don't you know them?


You push me to the ground;
And tell me my life story.


You write my future with your bloodied- pen, go ahead;
I'll only writhe when the expectation start to dig in.


Because in the end... We all know who wins, love;
We all know who will seizes the day.


Now look me in the eye.


Burn in your regret, die in your envy;
And answer me this:


Why do you never let me speak?


My lips will move,
But you never listen.


So when will you finally hear them?
Each little syllable?
Each word, sound and vowel...?


Will you ever choose to hear, or will you forever remain abstinant?


Will you ever hear the music, or will you remain deaf in your ignorance?


You will fall you know, if you keep it up.


Your ruthlessness does not fool anyone, love.


You're despicable though, ya know?


With your ropes and chains bound to your victim's throats;
Asphyxiating them with every stroke.


Trying to destroy the relentless tones;
But not everyone agrees and condones,
With the dimming and dulling tones of rebellious notes.


Despicable. Don't ya know?


But love you'll, never win, especially not over me;
Cowardice never prevails, and that you will see.


And in your chains I was broken,
And in your chains I now stand.


Because the Lord hath lent me his guidance;
The lord lent me his helping hand.


He saved me from this hell;
He saved me from these shadows.


He saved me from being lead, when I am meant to lead.


He made me realize that... I am more, than what you make me out to be.

Arise

Under The Rug

I sat in my rocking chair, it was a late Saturday evening and I was completely exhausted from the day’s work at the press, because after all, exposing and unraveling mysteries of today’s society can become quiet exhausting. As I leaned back in my chair I started to explore the quaint queries that fancied my mind, and as I explored I was reminded of my late fiance. “Oh Victoria” I thought with a sigh, “sweet beautiful Victoria, had I only been there to protect you.” I closed my eyes and visions of my bride danced in my mind: her oceans of brunette hair flowing past her shoulder in perfect waves, her heart- shaped face blessed with beautiful, plush lips so perfect only one could dream to draw them. Her eyes like a lustful tempest breaching the ocean’s shore: the deep blue waves submissive to the orders of the grey overcast, as I am submissive to her sweet transgressions that stole my heart. I dreamt of kissing her, holding her one last time, telling her I love her, telling her goodbye: for the day I saw the blood free- flowing from her throat, was they day I vowed vengeance against the one who had slain my betrothed and took her hand. Yes, they took her hand, the left one, with the ring. Yes, the ring that signified our undying love for each other, the precious band encrusted with diamonds, rubies and other jewels signified my everlasting love and commitment to her, and someone stole it, not only stole it, but brutally murdered her by slicing open her jugular; but it did not stop there, o no. Not only did they brutally murder her, o no, they violated by haphazardly cutting off her hand with a knife from my own cutting block, then leaving her mangled body in the middle of the parlor floor for me to witness the gruesome seen. O the the horror I felt when I saw her frail and broken frame strewn across the floor in mangled twists and turns that only the dead can imitate. O the grief I was stricken with  the second I saw her lying there. I stopped dead in my tracks- horrified beyond the capacity of rational speech or thought, the only thing I could manage to do was let out a sharp cry, a yelp of sorts, of complete disbelief and despair. My hand started to tremble as strong as the tremors that lurk beneath the earth as I subconsciously raised them to my face as I let out another deafening cry. Then another, and another, and another until they transformed into gut wrenching sobs. The tears streamed down my face and suddenly my lips parted and spoke one audible word: “Victoria,” I screamed, then with one rush of emotion everything came out once: rage, frustration, anger, sorrow, remorse, fear, hate... A hate that was so strong I can’t even put a name to it, there are no words to describe the sheer bitterness i felt for the one who took the life of my beloved. And with this sudden yet brief feeling of Indescribable hate, I fell into a psychotic state: screaming, crying, shaking, harder and louder then before, as if the that magnificent hate I had suddenly felt moments ago had disappated into an emotion that can only be described as the hysteria a demon must fall into when confronted by God Almighty himself; and like a demon trying to escape the judging gaze of the lord, I fell into a frantic sprint towards my beloved. “Victoria!” I screamed, and in those few seconds I was running towards he it felt as if time itself slowed down; making it so every second feel like an eternity, allowing the hysteria of extreme emotions settle deep into my very core until my legs finally collapsed beneath me and I landed at my dead beloved’s body. “Victoria!” I cried again as I grabbed her by her shoulder to lift her up to meet my face (for she was face down) and I was met with a sickening shock as her eye rolled to the back her skull, revealing only the whites of her eyes; leaving this once beautiful and alive creature looking soulless and demonic. And in the same instance her head carelessly fell backwards; revealing what was a horribly deep gash in her throat, and due to the lack of support it caused it to rip even wider, sending a new ocean of blood poor out the wound. “O god.” I managed to choke out through through heavy sobs and streams of tears. “Victoria” I choked out again as I lifted her head, giving her neck support and closing the wound that still continued to trickle blood down her long neck. “Victoria” I cried even louder as I lifted her face up to mine, looking into the white of her eyes in disbelief, looking for a sign of life, looking for hope, “Victoria” I screamed. In the horror of realization, a new stream of tears came pouring down my face as screams followed; I pressed my lips passionately against hers; searching for life, in a sick hope of a fairytale ending, in the sick and vain prayer that the spark of my kiss would reawaken my only love; but her lips, cold, dead, limp and with the sweet taste of blood on her tongue left me with no response; and when there was no response my heart fell into total darkness at the loss of the one who meant everything to me, she was gone,  forever, and so was I.

I opened my eyes. they stared blankly into the abyss of shadows dancing along the walls of the parlor, a mixture of suppressing emotions entered my mind, leaving it defenseless; opting it to be open to the next rash impulse that crossed my mind, and the next thought, rash it was. I eyed the doorway leading to the kitchen with will ill content, memories of blood dancing in my head. Many men wanted her, and many women envied the ring, but I thought none would care so deeply of earthly objects to leave my loved one cold and dead to me. I closed me eyes once more, visions of the fair Victoria laying in my arms on the floor. The panic and the hysteria filling my lungs as I cried out, shaking because my world hath spun. I looked in haste, confused, in a daze, I glanced around the room for any sign, any trace. A trail of blood dripped to the kitchen, a fine splattered, so thick so long, how could you miss it? I went to grab her hand, to reach it to my face, to promise her, her memory will not die on this day. Alas I grabbed nothing, nothing but air, more confusion filled my mind for I was unaware that there, was nothing. There I looked down slowly, horror dancing in my mind as my eyes notice blood still flowing from the limb detached with jagged edges, her hand was missing, the ring was missing, my love, was missing. I cried again, but with more anger and desperation than before, stood up in rage and began to head for the door. “I will find you!” I screamed in my rising hatred and disdain, “I will kill you!” I screamed my mind reaching a temperature that only furthered my disease, my voice grew in volume, my mind in rage; I reached my to the knife block when yet again the sensation of nothingness was made. It’s gone. My thoughts froze, my minded blank, me eyes widened when I turned to see the sight. “No, No, No, No, No! I screamed, as I saw the trail of watered- down blood leading to the sink. I ran in over in hurry, my mind a frantic and blurry as I peared in to the silver, my lip could only quiver at the sight of my reflection bouncing of the bloody knife. “No!” I screamed in desperation! “No!” I hit the floor, “No!” I screamed in sorrow, I couldn’t take the torment anymore; “No! My dear Victoria, taken by my own hand! No!” I cried on in heavy draining tears “No! No! No!”...

I cleared my mind, I stared blankly ahead, my mind falling in an out of focus. I stared at the kitchen door, dark shadows swirling, beckoning, me to step into the unknown. I lifted myself form my chair, my mind filled with apathy and confusion, though I had already made my decision. I slowly and steadily made my way to the kitchen; my feet dragging at each step, trying to stop me from my ill- willed fate; I reached the doorway. I stared into the room, malaise glazing my eyes; the moonlight spilled in from the window above the sink, it glimmered off the white tile, revealing the shapes and figures that twisted in the black abyss belonging to shadows that now danced in a congregation around dreadful room; their sick ballet enchanting me with their hypnotic twists and turns. They beckoned me to step forward, for I heard nothing, but all I feel is come. Come, my body tells me, as I am drawn farther into the depths of the shadows by an unknown force. Come they whisper, the shadows grabbing me, pleading me to join their senseless dance. Come, they say throwing me forward into the counter, my hands catch me on the edge of marble; my finger subconsciously glides across the counter top to a single drawer. My fingers coast along the grain of the wood; they finger finger the secrets lying inside, they fear to open it, I can tell... But my compulsions decides otherwise. I slowly open the drawer, at first it appears hollow and black, until the silver moonlight pours in, revealing the item wrapped in the old and tattered white cloth. My hands shake as they near the mess of jumbled fabric, they stop in fear; but yet again the shadows push me forward, forcing me to be their lead dancer, I grasp the waring cloth that conceals the item of my defeat. Emptiness fills my mind as the shadows pull my hand up so I can face the tormentor of my dreams; the bundle of white slowly succeeds as it reveal a blade stain and rusted from unwashed blood. I blankly stare at it, my emotions unable to surface; the shadows bow out, allowing light to gleam of the slayer of worlds, revealing my solemn expression to reflect back at me; I stare back. I study the depths of my eyes, the emptiness that has filled them, the deep controlling apathy discoloring the irises to portray a hollow human being; the pupils dialated to show my insanity. I press my tongue against my lips as a distraction as my reflection escapes my gaze as I raise the blade to my heart; “My dear love, I will never leave you,” I pressed the steal tip against my heart, “For you took my lover, now you shall take me...” There was a crash. I dropped the knife. I turned my head to the parlor; my eyes and ears searching for whatever material item had fallen, causing the terrible noise. I walked out of the kitchen, the ruined knife still in hand, I stared into the empty space of the parlor; nothing seemed out of place, nothing knocked over, no item disturbed, no book out of place; my eyes looked down as I turned to sweep myself back into the kitchen, then, I noticed it. Under the rug near the patch still stained form blood there appeared to be so me form of bump. I tiny bump, not abnormally big, but not abnormally small, lying there beneath the rug. In my study I moved closer in my curiosity, knife forward, to ready to strike if there need be reason a for such a the blow. It remained still and quiet, not a movement nor a quiver did it seem. I crouched down close to it, just inches away; I stretched my weapon forward and poked it with just the tip, just the tip, nothing more, nothing less. It jumped towards me in furry, I stumbled backwards in my immediate horror, landing on my back; it came closer, faster, anger presented in its speed. I kicked my legs back attempting to move away, but it only gained ground towards me; nearly scraping my leg. I screamed as my dear friend hysteria excitedly rushed back into my being; I rolled away quickly but it only drew came closer, faster, faster, faster then a freight train, faster, as it bumped my leg. My screeching grew more uncontrolled and frantic as I forced myself to jump to my feet, stumbling at the lack of balance my bound had caused me; I turned around to strike it down, but noticed my only source of protection lying on the ground. I screamed again, louder, my heart pounding faster, by breathing reaching hyperventilation as my mind was destroyed with hysteric devastation. I stumbled again when it began to near again, I turned around looking for some object that would defend against this demon torturing me with its quickness. The chair I thought, “The chair!” I screamed out loud in victorious realization, I whirled around and sprinted towards my destination, and my tormentor raced behind me searching for it’s pensions; I grabbed the arms of my chair, for this devil was unaware of his demise closely drawing near. “Die!” I screamed as I began to swing my seat over my head... Silence. The bump fell dead; not a movement, not a sound, not the slightest stir or twitch, just peace; as if my words had caused this unknown terror to suddenly fall dead. I slowly lowered the chair, placing it on it’s side. I slowly stepped full- circle around the abnormality, in the pure hopes I would not disturb it’s slumber, causing it yet again spring to life. I began so sweat from anticipation as I reached my knife, my shaky hands reached down, barely touching the hilt. I scraped my fingers against the smooth wood until the knife drew close enough to my hand for me to able to firmly grasp it. Picking it up I backed away slowly to the edge of the rug, making sure my eyes remained where the sly demon lay asleep taunting me, torturing me with anticipation and anxiety at it’s stillness... I reached the end of the rug, eyes still fixed on whatever lay under the rug... With knife still in hand I reached my finger tips under the rug, praying to the lord, pleading for protection as I began to lift the rug to reveal whatever horror lay underneath. My body began to shake as it’s form came into view, my prayers became more panicked and hastened; I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, ripping the rug from the ground and automatically pouncing back, holding the stained razor outwards to my chest, ready to strike; but my eyes filled with whimsical horror at what I saw. A hand. A pale, dainty, white left hand from the wrist down, with a silver- jewel encrusted band encircling the ring finger. It balanced there on nothing but the very tips of it’s ring, index and middle fingers; giving it the appearence of floating on thin air. It’s appendages were graceful and long, the skin so white you could see the soft blue of the veins below; it’s form so perfect and delicate the great sculptors of the Renaissance could only dream of sculpting something half it’s stature. There was all but one flaw: the flesh near the wrist was jagged and torn, and stained deep red; as if it had been... severed.  “Oh my God,” I let out in a soft cry as the knife fell from my hand, hitting the ground and though it was silent, a sound rang out that seemed to last for hours; then I fell in to a sprint. A sprint one can only compare to as demon trying to escape the judging gaze of the lord, the same sprint I fell into when I saw my beloved Victoria slain on the floor. Every second felt like an eternity before I finally reached the detached hand, I scooped it up in mine and marveled at how as it reacted at my touch; relaxing, running it’s smooth finger down the lengths of my arms it could reach. The skin was soft as silk and brought back the warmth of a memory lost so long ago; I teared up as I brought it close to my face to study the ring, the ring that symbolized my undying love for my dear Victoria, it lay untouched on the the left finger. The rubies still lay intact, the diamonds still polished, the silver still stainless and the strength of our love still undefeated. I pursed my lips and leaned forward and kissed the top the ring, in retort one finger softly glided down my lips chin, I smiled. The hand relaxed and I flipped it over to study the palm... My jaw fell and tears began to flow down my face as I read the note that was carved into the tissue:

“My dear, nothing will ever tare our love apart”

      

                                                        - Victoria

I paused trying to recollect my thoughts, I stared at the hand, at the scars that healed mine; I grabbed it, lacing the fingers between mine as euphoria replaced sorrow. My eyes wandered to my journalism notepad for the paper that laid on the small side table next to where my chair use to be. I slowly walked over, emotions and thoughts I do not have a name for racing through my head, but for the first time in a long time, they were not terrifying in nature. I knelt down in front of the table and with one hand grabbed the notepad and flipped it to a new page as set it back down. I picked up a pen, and with Victoria’s beautiful hand  reunited in mine at last, I began to write.

             

The Man With Red Eyes

The room grows cold, I see him standing there, the man with red eyes. He turns towards me from the corner, the bowler cap covering his eyes; but nothing hides the malice pouring from his mind. He shows it in his smile, the one filled with fangs. It bleeds through in his stature, the putrid pounce he’s about to take. He inches towards me slowly, letting the horror grow as he slowly reveals his vermilion eyes filled with deviance and hatred, hatred for the one who saved me in the first place. He holds his black waist coat close to his body, hiding his body, hiding flesh, hiding the lies burnt into his his skin. He grows closer, his violent eyes peering deeper into my soul; my heart beat quickens, my breathing hardens, my being stricken with panic. He turns his head, his teeth so long they pierce his lips as he forces them into a devious smile, one which bleed with sanity and with a plot of ill will. His eyes seem to grow brighter, he anger more alive, the heat more intense, as he leans in and let’s go of the waist coat; revealing his un-human structure and decomposing flesh. Though I’ve seen it many times before I still lay frozen awestruck with horror at the dismantled rib cage; it’s twist and turns breaking outside the charred flesh, ending in sharp, jagged, unforgiving points. They crack and twist with every move, breaking more, contorting more, into an in human figure with every minute passed. I pay closer attention to the skin crackling around his bones; his flesh was blackened and charred, one could only image the eternal and torturous inferno one would have to endure daily to have skin burned so deeply such as this apparition. It dangled in rotting chunks from his being, barely clinging to the bone. Deep scars penetrate patches of skin that are still hopelessly attached, along with fresh wounds that were struck so deeply it exposed more bone then before, allowing an abnormal consistency of dark- crimson blood to slowly creep out of tares. A sudden movement of his neck brings me to his decrepit lips; the flesh torn and ripped from the pressing of his sharp fangs, loose fragments dangling, barely attached, and fresh incisions from his un- wordly fangs secreting continuous amounts of the strange dead and clotted blood. Even in my fear, my attempts to the avoid his eyes at last are in vain; his eyes they burn deep into my soul, filling me with terror, panic, horror, dread, and hopelessness. Die, he whispers in my mind; I let out an exasperated whimper as an arrow of hysteria shoots into my chest; Die he whispers again, my breathing grows even quicker then before. Die; my heartbeat quickens, pounding against my chest. Die, Die, Die! His smile fades as the intensity of eyes grows even more intense then before; images of knives pressed against my pale wrists flash through my mind, they penetrate deep, spilling my blood down my arms, staining my skins in it’s path. Now I’m floating in a bath tub, neck deep in red water, it grows darker as my own blood contaminates it, my face relaxes, I grow cold as I slip beneath the stained water; my own blood drowning me, taking me to my self- made grave. A silent scream escaped my lips as the tears came pouring down my face, my quickened breathing turned into an intense hyperventilation that I felt my lungs could not keep up with, and at this reaction the man with red eye’s mouth twitched into a brief smile. He leaned in closer and grabbed my shoulder with his claws; my skin seared under his grasp, I let out another unaudible scream was forced out of my lips as I fell deep into my hysteria and panic as he sank into my bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me; running his hands down my sides, across my stomach, near my face his claws gliding smoothly across but still sending an unbearable burning sensation through the process. Be Mine he whispered as he kissed my cheek. I let out a small cry as the symptoms of dread set in, I tried to scream, tried to speak but I was to stuck in my hysterical and aphasic state to do anything more then cry, hyperventilate, and listen to my heart pound hard and overwhelmingly fast against my chest. He kissed my mouth, his lips tasted like venom; making me gag. Leave I thought through my disgust and tears. he grabbed me tighter as if to claim me as his possession, burning me deeper. Leave! You have no reason nor right to be here! I screamed in my head. Then lightness... I thought I was safe, my breathing lessened, my heartbeat calmed, my thoughts quieted, then from the dark abyss I was grabbed again; harder and stronger then I had been before, but this time all I felt was rage and confidence. “In the name of Jesus Christ leave, I am know longer yours anymore, I am his, he had saved me, now leave.” I said it with blatant venom; making sure every words sunk in to his being as he hissed trying to mask his fear with anger, he went to grab me again. “Emmanuel! Be with me now!” I growled. The man with red eyes screamed, and then a calming energy filled my room, and the white light filled my room and my angel hath come. I fell asleep

I await the day my angel hath come.  

Apathy

Apathy is like a ghost, she’s follows you close behind and haunts your every move and takes advantage of your weak mind when you begin to acknowledge her existance. She finds favor in the weak and weary for they are her easiest subjects.  She’ll take advantage of her victims in their misery, and she’ll pretend to care about you, even when you don’t. This in turn makes you feel safe in her seemingly warm and trusting embrace; but this in turn is not the case. This fine woman presents herself in a costume of hope because she knows her trusting followers will join her in her dangerous game. They will take any break she gives them, any possible medication to to heal them, and any chance to be free; whether it be in a path of light, or a path of destruction, they will play her cards no matter what the cost. They demand to give up, and that’s exactly the opportunity she presents them; But many do not take the time to peel of the mask she is wearing to see through her facade until she introduces her lover, numbness, who hands them the cigarette, the alcohol, the knife or any other weapon of self- destruction they may have in their artillery. And even after then, many still do not care. Many still do not take in to account what they have lost or what they have missed out on when they join Apathy and her lover’s game; they will just sit back and watch the world go slowly past them till there’s nothing left, and that is exactly what they want. They want a world full of mindless pawns that follow their destructive ways, pawns who will not help the ones who cry out towards them for helps, pawns that will simply pass by with out a word or mention to their fellow brother, simply because they do not care... This goal Apathy and numbness’ goal is simply.. Death. Sometimes they achieve this goal, sometimes they do not., the only thing that ever stands in their way is hope. Hope is the only thing they cannot kill, hope is a bright light for all of Apathy’s victim and their only ticket out. Apathy and numbness fear hope, they scream and run when they hear her name or feel her present. They cannot kill hope, and they can never destroy her if if one of their victims welcomes hope into there home. But in the end, Apathy does not care at all if some of her victims break free.. Because after all, Apathy doesn’t care, and she never will.

Burnt

So me and my good friend had to dual write a story for creative writing, and the only thing we had to do was take a classified in the newspaper and write a story explaining why they were selling that item or property or whatever. Well we went waaaaay over board with it and we would like to share it with the world, so here is our lovely twisted story: "Burnt" (P.S. if you have a weak constitution I would suggest you not read this, thank you :) )

I walked down the dim halls, nameless faces pass me by one by one until I caught her eye. Her cool blue gaze intensified at the hatred in my eyes burned through her. She smiled. a sly smirk of  some sort, like the plot she already planned was not entirely over. She batted her eyes in what was a taunt, turned her head from me to reveal her long bleach- fried hair and pink over coat. she stopped for a minute then whirled around, her daint hands grasping the broad shoulders of that of a typical high school jock, my jaw tightened as I saw their lips interlocked, and his hand slowly traveling up her skirt. I looked down with tears welling in my eyes, “I hope you choke on his spit” I cried under my breath as I slowly turned to walk away, I looked up one more time and saw her evil eyes glancing at me from the side, a sly smile crossed her face in the middle of the fake passion being displayed in the school’s hallway for the world to see. I cried out, a few tears spilling down my face as I hurried away. “I hate her”, I thought over and over... “I hate her, I hate her, I hate her..” As I hurried down the hallway in attempt to get away from my heartbreak my books were suddenly slammed into my chest as i stumbled backward someone grabbed my arm before i hit the ground and pulled me close to his chest. I opened my clenched eyes cautiously and opened my mouth to speak but before I could utter a word my ears were met with  a soft sweet voice that was so familiar but to dreadful to enjoy. “hey” he said looking deeply into my eyes acting as if nothing ever happened, “are you alright?’’  I ripped my arm out of his grasp and in my forcefulness I found my self falling backwards on to the hard cold tile floor. I closed my eyes and teared up against the humiliation and the pain, as I lay on the ground the bittersweet symphony of retained laughter fluttered down towards my ears. one laugh sounded over the rest the one laugh that wasn't retained . it openly mocked me, “O my god she’s such a loser!” someone yelled as everyone bursted out into loud laughs and hoots, “guys, shut up, it’s not fu- fu” he didn’t even finish his sentence before bursting into laughter again. I sighed as tears slid down my eyes as I proceeded to stand up and gather the things that I had dropped when I fell. I stood up and briefly met the gaze of his eyes “I hope you burn in hell, Criss” I spat as I turned to walk away only to bump into his best friend Joey who apparently had been behind me the whole time. “Where do you think you’re going freak?” Aw hell... I thought to myself before opening my mouth: be nice, or destroy, be nice, or destroy... destroy. “I’m going to my 4th period, and I’m guessing-” “Shut up” Joey spat. “you ain’t goin’ any where and you ain’t guessing anything you tiny little psycho” he pushed me sending me back a few steps, I just lowered my head and grabbed my books tight, “I really have to get to class” I said as I proceeded  to move past him. “you’re not going anywhere” he spat as he shoved me against a locker this time, making the cheap metal vibrate sending a deafening sound through out the halls the signaled my defeat and humiliation.. and maybe even my burning hatred. “Hey, Joey! that’s enough, knock it off!” Criss said interjecting before the confrontation could reach any further lengths. “Why should I leave her alone? she’s just a psycho and a waste of flesh,  she should either be in a psych ward or even maybe even in a morg.” He bowed his head, looking up through his bangs; his eyes sparkling with deviation and malice. his mouth stretched into an antagonzing grin against his sharp white teeth. “Now you’re either going to apologize, or I promise you’re going to meet your sister in hell in the next three seconds”  he started to count on his fingers like daddy use to do before he killed himself and took mommy with him  “one” he said waving his finger in front of my face I was too stubborn to do anything but shoot daggers through my pale green eyes and sob a little at the refrence of my dead baby sister “two” he said with his growing anger in his voice as my fear poisoned my soul with every lasting second. there was a mob of people around me now and i felt tempted to say I'm sorry  as he said “three” he growled as he ran at me grabbing my throat forcing me against the lockers. my neck whip lashed at the impact and cause me to slam my head against the hard metal, pain exploded behind my eyes as the vibration of the blow sounded through the halls. he brought up his fist threatening to punch me “say your sorry you bitch!” I gasped for air and scratched at his strong hand that was restricting my breath. i hated him more than i had hated anyone in my life more than i hated that little Barbie girl  i looked at him as he repeated himself again sounding even more angry than before “say your sorry” when i only responded with more gasping he grounded his teeth and hit me hard in the stomach i only glared at him, forcing  back the tears of pain and hatred that continued to slowly consume my heart in it’s darkness. He drew his fist back again intending to go for my face this time i clenched my eyes shut preparing for the blow but it never came i opened my eyes to find Criss grabbing Joey’s arms and shoving him away and throwing him to the ground.  “Dude that enough!” Criss screamed with a intense indescribable anger, causing Joey to recoil on the ground in fear . with out Joey pressing me against locker I slid down to the cold hard ground again. i tried to breath but the wind was knocked out of me. I lost track of the brutal confrontation going on before as I attempted to fill my lungs with oxygen once more. “I’m only teaching her a lesson!” Joey yelled in protest Criss looked angry when he asked “and what was that?” you could see the anger grow in Joey’s eyes at Criss’ chastising, he lifted himself off the ground as he proceeded to yell back: “that she is a freak and can’t mess with us maybe?!” he stopped and turned to me “Did you learn your lesson miss psycho? Are you going to say sorry now or am I going to have to keep tutoring you on how to behave?!” he started after me again his arms lifted towards me with open hands ready to affixiate me and take my breath again. My rebellion welled up inside me along with hatred and a passionate rage,  I regained my breath and screamed at him “I would rather go see my sister in hell then say sorry to you!”  I yakked up all the goop in my mouth i could muster and spat at him with all the good grace of one of S.E. Hinton’s Greasers. Joey looked at me with all the darkness in his heart as he wiped the my spit of his face, “that’s it you’re dead now,” he aid through clenched teeth. He started at me with the furry of a legion of many demons. Teeth clenched teeth, fists raise, ready to strike, but before he could reach me Criss stepped in the passionate path of rage Joey was striving down in confidence and anger. He stopped, “Criss-” “Don’t even,” Criss said clenching his teeth “you deserved that one” he pushed Joey away with one hand and all Joey did was laugh “ya know what?” he said through his cynical laughter “I'm out of here! you can enjoy your little freak fest, and I will go enjoy my normality where all sane people live!” “have fun!” Criss said with a huge smile on his face, and with sarcastic smile joey raised his right hand and popped his middle finger out at him, “later.” he said as he stormed through the crowd  and walked away from the scene.I turned my eyes to Criss, and then took one last look at Joey who’s back was angrily stalking down the hall way. He must have felt the heat of my gaze because he turned around and locked eyes with me immediately. “you’re dead” he mouthed, my mouth dropped with fear as he slowly turned away. I watched as he angrily snaked down the hallway with fists clench, I watched as not only his body, but his mind disappear into the deep abyss of the hallways that held nothing but shadows, and never ending darkness.

~~~~~~~~

The mob surrounding me dispersed with Joey. Criss waited till everyone was gone before coming to talk to me ”Oh what a gentlemen!” I looked up at him and clapped my hands as I simply sat there and tears began to escape my eyes, filled with the desire to rid the world of Joey Rodriguez The tears started flowing faster of one simple thought: I knew could never do the world that justice.Or could I?.. it would be doing the world a favor right?  if he died who would care he was a jerk! no one would miss him come to think of it no one would miss the barbie either and maybe even . . . .Criss.  “Are you okay?” Criss asked sounding exhausted and strained as he held out his hand to help me up i simply slapped his hand away  and got myself up. my legs were trembling but i seemed to be alright “I'm sorry about joey i tried to stop him” my eye twitched at irritation his ignorance! I turned to him all my hatred rising up again “you . . . .yo-” “do you want to come to a party?” the passionate  fire of anger was taken right out from under me “what?” i asked completely dumbfounded “look I'm really sorry about him and to make it up to you I'm inviting you to my party” I was about to say no when my mind turned back to the earlier thought I had, had killing joey. “Will Joey be at this party?” I asked already knowing the answer “ya but its a big house so you wont see him unless you like look for him” he said this as if he feared i would say no but i had already said yes in my head. i would go to Criss’s little party but only for one special reason.. An evil grin stretched across my face, I started daydreaming of ways i would kill him  there was so many ways! strangling, poisoning, and of course the classic stabbing to death before i could answer him he continued “you know the only reason he picks on you is because he likes you right?” i was dumbfounded again  “what!? who in there right mind would bully there crush?” my rage resurfaced but before it could form completely Criss started talking “He is just angry you picked me over him” Criss said this like joey hadn't just tried to kill me and it was a harmless crush. Oh I was so going to murder him for sure now!! “So you coming or not?” Criss asked still looking tired and worn out, “Of course I'll come” I said I gave him a sly smile and looked up through my bangs. I walked towards him and pressed my body up against his, I reached around to his side and grabbed the belt loop of his jeans and pulled him even closer to me. we were eye to and are lips just inches apart. “It’ll be fun” I said smiling again. I lifted my free hand and glided my finger down his chest, I looked up at him again, lips pursed, bleeding an innocence I never had. He got that excited boyish smile I use to love and laughed nervously trying to repress his want, “You remember where?” He said wrapping his arm around my lower back, his hand slowly starting to travel up my shirt “Mhhhm” I hummed, as I lightly brushed my lips against his for a single kiss “I love you.” I whispered in his ear. His grasp on me suddenly tightened as he pulled me in closer to kiss me again, I dropped my grasp on him and stepped away, he gave me a quizzical look as sadness entered his bright blue eyes “But I-” I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head to the side, he stopped his notion of thought already knowing exactly what my body language was stating, “I’ll see you tonight alright?” I said looking deeply into those perfect eyes,  “Alright” he smiled. I smiled back at him one more time as I started my walk down the hallway, “I love you too!” he called after me, I turned around locking with his eyes automatically I smiled one last time and winked at him before I slowly turned around; allowing my body and my mind to wistfully descendant into abyss of the hallways that held nothing but shadows, and never ending darkness. And I love your blood. A lovely thought crossed my mind as a dark giggle escaped my mouth. Vengeance is mine my love, Vengeance is mine.

                                    

~~~~~~~~

I watched my dark brown hair in the mirror, becoming frustrated with it at its lack of curling. after fidgeting with my hair some more I turned off the curling iron and proceeded to put my hair up in bun, leaving one curled hair to hang softly hang around my pale skin. I lined my big pale green eyes with deep black eyeliner, giving my eyes a cat shape and extra ferocity  “That’s good enough.” I sang to my self out loud. My eyes accidently traveled up to the old burned piece of paper taped to the mirror, tears stung at my eyes, filling me with an ancient pain that was never quite buried “Don’t look at it right now,” I said through gritted teeth, “later, later when the time is right.” A single tear rolled down my eyes as I pulled them away from the memento of my past. I grabbed my red lipstick and started coating my big lower lip;  slowly moving to my upper. I rolled my lips between each other spreading the bright red lipstick around. When I was accentuating my face, I looked my self over in the mirror noting, my hair had actually done how I had wanted. I stared at the attractive way my jeans hugged each part of my lower body streaching with my long legs down to my six inch high- heeled boots. my eyes moved to my loose-off-shoulder red swooped-neck belly shirt, I noted how perfectly it showed of my tiny waist line and perfectly highlighted my strongly built and elegant decolletage. My eyes swooped down to my new belly ring. I had gotten it today and I smiled at the sight of it: it was a little blood splattered silver axe, absolutely prefect for tonight. I glanced back to the old burned paper and remember the day my sister wrote that, the day she set the house on fire with her half dead body already set ablaze. I thought back to it, fresh tears welling up in my eyes;  it was hard to believe it had only been 4 years ago, she would be 14 this year; only being two years younger than me. Mom and dad had been fighting that day, and it was all my fault too. dad was drunk again and he had hit me because I disobeyed him: he told me not to teach Macry ring around the Rossie's. I didn't know why he hated it, But I did it anyway, and I was brutally punished for it. I quickly looked down at my hand; tracing the the jagged scar my dad had ripped down the top of my wrist when I had attempted to escape from the harsh blows he was pounding to my face...  maybe if I had just not shown my mom, maybe, maybe they would all still be alive... I still remember hearing my poor beloved baby sister faintly singing it as I tried my hardest, but in the end in vain, to get into her room; screaming at her to open the door. But  I, knowing she had already slit her wrist’s, she was long gone to the world. “I should of died with her!” I cried aloud with disgusting amounts of spite and anguish in my voice, but my dear mother had to drag me away from the door as the fire spread all throughout the house. I looked at the note again deciding to read it out loud again before I left for the night of blood I was in for: “Sweet love, sweet kiss, sweet ignorant bliss. Sweet heart, sweet care, sweet this isn’t fair. Sweet day, sweet night, sweet this might be goodbye. Sweet fire, sweet knife, sweet time to die.” tears ran heavily down my face and I quickly wiped them away. I leaned in to the mirror  checking to make sure my make up wasn't running, and when it wasn’t, I took the paper from the mirror folding it and putting it in my pocket. I turned my back to the mirror knowing what I had to do. I had to do it for her . . ..  for Marcy. I walked down the dim hallway of the orphanage, my mind swirling with images of the sweet crimson that was soon to be staining my pale- white skin, “This is for you my sweet broken little angel.” I whispered as I opened the door to leave. I took a deep breath as I stepped into the sweet summer air and gently closed the door behind me. I love you Marcy, see you in a few... I thought as I disappeared into the twilight.

~~~~~~~~

I walked to Criss’s house in silence, completely engulfed in my thoughts: who was i going to kill first? how was I going to do it? where was I going to do it? When was I going to do it?... As  these thoughts crossed my mind a cocktail concocted of rage, hate, lnsanity, vengeance and lust pulled itself together; an evil grin crossed my face and a devious chuckle escaped my lips. In my relaxation of realization and decision I grabbed the belt loops of my tight jeans and carelessly strode down the road. “Ring around the rosie, pocket full of possies... Ashes, ashes we all fall down...” One last giggle escaped my mouth as Criss’ house came into view,  it was a fairly large house on the edge of the forest, it was quite nice actually; often wondered why someone would build such a beautiful house out in the middle of nowhere, by itself, and encroached in upon by a dark and dreary forest... O well, I thought. It will most definitely work to my advantage now, it would be at least take a half an hour before any cops could reach it, if anyone even dare tried to called them. I walked to the front door and brought up my hand to knock, but then remembered it was a party, and not just a party, it was one of Criss’ parties, even if I banged on the door screaming bloody murder no one would even notice my existence. I took one deep breath and opened the door and just to my expectation a wall of deafening music crashed into my ears, filling me with excitement and relaxation; no one will ever be able to hear the antagonizing screams I was soon to pull from my victim’s lips as I slowly killed them. I smiled and looked around to find that Criss had truly out done himself; this could easily be one of the best party’s of the year. music was blasting very loudly from speakers located in each room, which mixed with the sweet cacophony of obnoxious laughter that emanated from the tipsy guests holding red cups which were more then likely filled with beer. Everyone in the house looked so drunk, no one would even sense if something went wrong- or was wrong, with the high levels alcohol in their blood that were even still continuing to climb as the night went on. “Hey Avicanna!” I heard a preppy cackle  “what in the world are you doin’ hear?” I saw miss barbie , she was maybe a little bit tipsy, but not drunk.  Prefect I thought, I had feared she would be totally smashed, because then I wouldn’t be able to teach her a proper lesson. I glared at her then smiled “Oh Criss invited me, he wanted me to be here with . . .. Him” she glared at me even harder “Ya right he would, he’s done spending time with a sorry psycho slut like you, in fact I'm going to go find him right now to ask him if that’s true.” She stuck up her nose and clumsily turned around to look for him before a snide smile crossed my face, “Um honey, I think he went up stairs to his room you know on the third floor.” she gave me a look almost saying she didn't believe me, “In fact” I said mimicking her mannerisms and posture “He asked me to send you up there, so you better get on it before he gets bored.” I gave her a fake wink and she immediately turned around dashing straight for Criss’s room. I rolled my eyes, letting a breathy laugh to escape my lips Pathetic I thought. I looked up and smiled picking out Joey in the crowd of party goers. I smiled evilly and seductively. i stood up straight fixing my posture, I walked slowly over to him rolling my hips side-to-side as I walked like a predator heading for her prey, I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to find me standing there, and his smile faded instantly. “You want another lesson on how to behave or something?” He asked with a snare. I placed my hand on his shoulder pressing my tongue to my teeth, and bringing my finger down his chest. I looked him in the eye,“Maybe not a lesson on how to behave, but maybe on how to move” I said pursing my lips and pressing my chest up against his. “Finally come to your senses have you?” he asked with a grin. He wrapped his arms around my back, and his hand slowly started traveling up till it grasped my shoulder blade, his thumb barely caressing my side. I nodded my head and batted my eyes, I started to rise up so I could whisper in his ear  “The guest room in 20 minutes babe” I whispered  breaking away from his grasp and slowly walking away shaking my hips side to side. he stared after me as I trotted up the stairs were my first victim was waiting. I watched the dim walls passed me as I walked up the stairs looking for a weapon to use on the human barbie. I spotted a beer bottle and smiled knowing it was prefect: it had been the weapon used on mom. Dad hadn’t known it was broken when he hit her with it again and again until she had bleed to death, and now, I will kill with the same weapon used to take my own mother. A twisted grin broke out on my lips as I continued to get closer to Criss’s room. I was almost there I could taste it. I touched the door handle waiting a moment before turning it and going in the room. Miss barbie looked confused at the sight of me as I closed the door locking it. “What are you doing here? Where is Criss” I turned to her and smiled twhich seemed to dumbfound her even further “You’re a barbie girl, in the real world” she looked at me like I was insane and for the first time I felt I was too.  “God your such a freak” she walked over to me trying to get to the door, “I can do your hair!” I screamed as I grabbed on to her long blonde precious hair and ripped it all off. It made a disgusting sound as I ripped off the top of her scalp, and blood splattered everywhere as tiny droplets of ran down the few strands of hair she had left. she screamed turning around to run from me I laughed like a mad man “Un-dress  you everywhere” I sang while grabbing a flap of skin from the back of her head and tearing it off. she turned back to me and screamed in agony, collapsing against the wall as I sang even loader, “Imagination, life my creation!” she looked at me, terror emanating through every part of her body, an antagonizing smile crossed my face as I looked her in the eyes; they screamed at me, begging me to let her go, in her eyes I could see all the pain, agony, and terror the world could offer one single person, bleeding through those pale blue irisis. She whimpered in defeat as I drew closer, “Come on barbie let’s go party” I said as I kicked her in the stomach, my thin stiletto heal of my boot penetrated her stomach from the force of the blow. I removed my heel from her stomach and  a slow- moving river of blood came trickling out from the open wound, and before she could react, I jumped on her smashing the beer bottle on the top of her head. She was about to fall unconscious but before she even had the oppurtunity I grasped the broken glass in my hand and stabbed it into her chest. “Ah” I hummed in delight as more of her blood started to pour out of her body, she screamed even louder as if she was crying out to God in that very moment to save her life, but alas it was my job to silence her.  I stabbed her again “Ah, ah!” and again “Ya!” I said before stopping to see if she had stopped screaming, and when I saw her broken and bloody body was now lying dead beneath me,  I whispered in her ear, “Goodbye Barbie.” I smiled as I kissed her forehead.

~~~~~~~~

I ran to the guest room wiping the rest of the barbies blood off my skin. I slammed the door shut behind me and crashed into the bathroom frantically trying to wash the blood off my hands so my dear Joey wouldn’t notice the crimson that stained all along my arms and hands, and when it was gone, I looked up and smiled at myself in the mirror, I looked like I was glowing. my pale skin looking better than it had ever before. I heard a knock at the door “Avicanna, you in here?” I heard joey ask “Ya I'm in the bathroom getting ready for you love, just one moment.” I could here the smile in his voice when he said “Okay, but be quick.” I heard the bed squeak knowing that he had now laid down in complete comfort and confidence, and ignorant to the fate that was about to fall upon him. I opened the door making sure he watched my eyes and lips, and not the hand which held the broken bottle that was still stained with Barbie’s blood. I moved the bottle behind my back as I slowly made my way to the bed. “You look beautiful.” He said, a cool smile appeared on his face. A brief moment of guilt pierced my heart, but I quickly wiped it aside as I crawled onto the bed with the broken bottle still hidden behind my back. I position myself on top of him and slowly began kissing his thick lips, and when he seemed in a place of safety and vulnerability I proceed to reveal the weapon that seemed to be hidden for an endless eternity. “Wait, Avicanna, I want to tell you something” he said looking at the bottle, still calm in his manner. If he thought he was going to win me over with his kindness and love now, he was dead wrong. I didn't wait to hear the rest of his words before I quickly swung the beer bottle above my head and plunged into his chest right over his heart. I held restraint in the force I used allowing the shattered glass to hover over his heart, a few inches from his inevitable death. I wanted him to suffer slowly and pay for all the times he had wrong me. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and a heart for a heart. “I love you,” he let out in a sharp breath,  his eyes welling up with tears form the immense pain. My eyes widened in shock, how could he love me? I mean Criss and I had dated for years, and he had never once told me, or even had any mention of having any positive feelings for me, let alone... Love... Plus I was stabbing him!! how could he love me? he started to cough with great force, his body shaking underneath me as he started to expel fine amounts of blood from of his mouth, coating his lips and chin in a deep vibrant red as it proceeded to drip on to the pillow and sheets below him. He reached up to my face and started running his long, shaking fingers through my hair that had fallen out of it’s bun in my earlier passion with barbie, “You’re beautiful, kind, and such an amazing and sweet person,” he coughed more “You’re the only person I have ever felt this deeply for.” blood oozed from the wound, drenching his shirt in his own blood, and tears fell from my eyes as I recalled the look on my dad’s face when he had realized what he had done to my mom. He had told me repeatedly in his hysteria that he didn't mean to stab her, and he didn’t mean to kill her, but in my fear I ran through the dim hallways of the decrepit motel, looking for someone, anyone, to tell the story of my past 30 minutes of life to, to find safety, and expose my dad as the brutal murderer he truly was. But by the time safety was reached and the cops had arrived, the coward had thrown himself from the forth floor window to his death and left me, his only living daughter, completely alone and forgotten in the world. I remembered looking at the broken glass that was scattered around the crime scene, and the rivers of blood that had stained the street, the final symbol of a broken life, as I stared at Joey and the broken pieces of glass scattered around his chest and the rivers of blood oozing from his heart and staining his chest. Memories of my mother, my father, and my sister flooded my mind from the blazing fire that engulfed my home and the fragile life of my baby angel, to the motel that held the cruel fate of my mother, who was beaten into her final submission by a cruel drunk with a broken beer bottle, who swung a little to hard and ended up bludgeoning and stabbing his wife to death, then to nearly seconds later, me walking in on my forlorn father strewn across the body of my frail mother, mixing his heavy tears with her sweet blood, and then the final moments of me finding the motel manager and hearing the horrible crash of broken glass and a heavy thud landing on the street below, running outside and seeing my father’s broken and twisted body on the black unforgiving asphalt... In those few moments I thought I had lost everything, and then looking into Joey’s deep brown eyes, seeing nothing but honesty, I realized I hadn’t lost everything, in fact, it was only the beginning. “I love you,” he repeated. I leaned down as tears started pouring from my face, taking my mascara and eyeliner with them and staining my cheeks, making them black as night. “I love you too” I whispered in his ear. What was once moments ago a sly lie to lure this poor boy to his death had now become the honest truth and my reality. To everyone I was once just a reminder of a horrible murderous man and a horrible demonic legacy, but now I couldn’t see that in joey’s eyes, no fear, no hatred, just love.  For the first time I saw honest love for me. I leaned down and kissed him slowly, tears still continuing to free flow down my face. He kissed me back faster and stronger as if he was determined to steal my tears away, but not just the tears, oh no, but also the pain, all this wasted pain, and the sorrow, all this drowning sorrow, and the death, all this pointless death. And for once in my life the needle of guilt plunged into my heart at the realization I did not want to do this anymore, I don’t want to be this person anymore. I realized my past and my pain should not define my actions, and it should not define who I am. And at this realization the beer bottle that seemed to have vanished during my passion suddenly reappeared in my hand. This is it I thought. I grasped the hilt of the bottle tightly in my hand and raised my body to pull the bottle out of his chest “You will no longer be victorious over me” I whispered to myself as the glass slowly started to rise out of his chest... I gasped as I suddenly felt the the cool puddle of blood that had formed under my knee, and I found myself falling forward again, but faster and with even more force then before. “NO!” I screamed right as the bottle went plunging straight back into his skin, penetrating his heart. He screamed in in pain, his body locking up briefly forcing him up only to collapse right back down again, he coughed ferociously as heavy amounts of his own blood spewed from his mouth. “NOOOO!! JOEY!!!” he looked at me and I was determined not to look back at him, for I didn't want to see the hatred that was sure to be lay in his eyes, I killed him, I slayed the only boy I had ever truly loved and the only boy who had truly ever loved me back; mind, body, and soul. “Avi-ann-a” he attempted to say my name through cracked syllables. I reluctantly looked at him and was shocked to see nothing but love in the dying light of his eyes. He touched my check rising up to whisper to me “I . . . .for .. . . .give . . . .you.” He said as his hand went limp, and his body fell cold on to the bed “no no no no no no you cant die! You can’t die! I love you, you can’t!” I grabbed his hand as my briefly resolved my mind fell into hysterics, I took it, trying to place it back on my cheek hoping, praying, that it would bring him back to life, “I love you!!! you can’t die! Not now, Not ever! NO!!!” I screamed bursting into tears, I fell down onto his body staining myself in his blood, trying retain and remember those last few moments I had been in love. I kissed, hugged him, caressed him, performed almost every sweet act of love possible in the dying hope I could bring him back to life, but alas the efforts were in vain. My eyes darkened, my grasp tightened and my tears came crashing out of my eyes as I fell even deeper into my insanity. Of course I couldn’t  keep him I laughed hysterically, why should I be able to keep him once I realized he was the one for me, always there watching me date his best friend why?! why?! I laughed again, holding my sides looking down at him. Anger welled up inside me “How dare you die!” I screamed slapping his corpse again and again before falling from the bed  laughing even harder. I held my self curling into a ball and rocking back and forth  trying to decide if I should scream, cry or laugh like the sociopath I had finally become. Just like your daddy I thought before bursting into another round of laughter. Before I could make any more decisions or climb even deeper into my insanity, someone decide to make their way upstairs and peek their head in the door way.  Their eyes widened with horror as they looked down upon me and the rest of gruesome scene. “Avicanna...?” Criss uttered out in immense horror, and at the sound of his voice, I noted the growing anger and realize this was my only chance. “Dammit Criss, it’s Italy and you damn well know it! God I’m so sick of everyone calling me that!” I breathed out in psychotic irritation, “But anyways Criss, Hiya how ya doin’?” I sat up as if nothing had ever happened and I laughed, laughed  feeling like the last of my sanity had left me, and all that had replaced it was a ravenous monster. I sprung up like a demon ran at him screaming. all my conscious moral thoughts had left me at that moment and now it was all up to instinct to decided his fate. Criss turned from me and ran out of the room in uncontrolled terror, he slammed against the wall unable to control his speed and at his halt I came bounding out of the room right after him. I slammed into his body,  tackling him to the ground, his back facing up at me. I grabbed his hair forcing his head up and the poor baby yelped in pain as I proceeded to scream at him. He started crying begging pleading, for me to let him go, but god knew that wasn’t going to happen. I picked up a stray beer bottle to the right of me and slammed it against the wall causing it to shatter. I took the jagged bottle and repeatedly stabbed it with great force into his back and neck, drawing huge amounts of blood and screaming with each deep penetration. “Take this you back stabbing cheating corpse! this is all your fault! I wouldn’t have even come if you hadn’t invited me!” I screamed and continue down my path of destruction until he had fallen limp underneath me, I stopped. I released my grasp on him and dropped the beer bottle, I dipped my hand in the pools of blood forming around his dead corpse and proceed to smear the sweet crimson on my face and down my arms and neck as my laughing grew harder and even more hysterical. I stood up from my mess and paced down the halls picking up every red cup and beer bottle I could find as I splashed them one by one all over the guest room and emptied their contents down the hall . I finally took one last beer bottle that managed to stay intact during my escapade and ripped a piece of Criss’ shirt of and stuffed it down the mouth of the bottle, allowing a little bit of the frayed and bloodied cloth to stick out. I dug in my pocket frantically looking for my lighter, and as soon as I found it I flicked it on and lit the end of the cloth. “lets crank it up” I said to myself is I stormed over to the banister. I stood their looking over the unexpecting party guests that were stumbling around drunk and attempting to dance to the loud music that was still pounding throughout the house. I smiled widely and laughed loudly as everyone noticed my existance and stared up at me  wide-eyed and confused. “Hey guys.” I said cheerfully holding the home made bomb up above my head. “Avicianna, is that, is that you?” someone from from crowd below slurred form their drunkenness. “It’s Italy, actually,” I said snidely. I looked up at the bottle smiled and then looked back at the crowd over drunks that had formed beneath me, their lives were now in my hands. 3, 2, 1... I counted off in my head as I dropped the bottle from the banister to the ocean of nameless people below. I watched as they there drunk eyes followed the bottle to the ground below, and right before the fire reached the end of the cloth the bottle hit the ground as the deafining crack of glass sounded throughout the room, and the sweet fire and alcohol ignited consuming the floor around it and lighting the people near the shattering glass on fire as well. There was a moment of silence, the only thing that could be heard was the earth shaking music, which seemed to fade into the background, and the deep and quickening heart beats of the innocent by standers below... Then suddenly a rich symphony of screams and shrieks rose up from the crowd beneath me as instant sobriety struck every soul in the house, and so started to the futile attempts to escape the burning building. The little people below struggled as they fought and tripped over each other as they clawed for the doors and reached for the windows, but in the end their own pleasure will cost them their lives, for the high levels of alcohol poisoning their blood will never allow any of them to come clear, there was no chance in hell any of them were getting out of this one alive, no one would escape. I smirked with pride and satisfaction at the disorganized mess of screaming and fighting that was presented before me as the fire slowly started to climb up the walls and cross the floor, taking a few more victims with her in the her burning rage. I turned away from the banister with one last thing to do, I ripped a piece of my own shirt off and took my lighter to it. as the red silk started to burn, I threw it onto the floor which instantaneously ignited the trails of alcohol I had erected in my state of hysteria. I watched solemnly as the deep blue and orange fire slowly started to consume the hallway and everything surrounding, for I knew these were my last final minutes on earth. “Goodbye” I whispered as I turned and walked back to the guest room. As I entered my final resting place the sweet tune to “Ring Around The Rossies” subconsciously started to flow from my mouth; “Ring around the rossies,  pocket full of posies, ashes ashes we all fall down.” I sung with a dead psychotic melody in my voice as the tears started falling from my eyes at the sight of Joey’s lifeless body still laying motionless and bloody on the bed. I sat down by him and curled my body up next to his as I took out my sweet little sister’s final words and read them to him. “Sweet love, sweet kiss, sweet ignorant bliss. Sweet heart, sweet care, sweet this isn’t fair. Sweet day, sweet night, sweet this might be goodbye. Sweet fire, sweet knife, sweet time to die.”  I sobbed putting the note on his chest and wrapping his cold arm around me “ring . . .around the .. . . .rossie” I felt a hand on my the shoulder and turned to see my sister. I saw the deep cut marks on her wrists. I took her hand and she smiled at me “Ring around the rossie pocket full of possies” she started to sing with me as i looked over to see mom standing in the corner with deep cuts all down her body. She smile her beautiful smile and proceed to sing with us, “ashes aches...”  dad appeared resting his hand on my mom shoulder, smiling weakly. I smiled back at him. forgiving him for this endless chain of madness he had created. He nodded his head as he added his voice into the choir as well, “we all fall down” he sang with his deep creamy voice. “I love you all” I whispered. I looked up to see to the celling over me was about collapse form the intense heat of the fire, I wrapped my arms around joey kissing his cheek, I stared at my fate as I heard the final crack of the ceiling above me giving away. I wasn't afraid anymore, dying offered me sweet relief from my mistakes and horrid past, so now, I welcomed it. “We all fall down!” I screamed all alone as the hot embers from the the roof came crashing down on me, crushing my frail body in immense heat, causing intense and unbearable pain but before I could let out a single scream I felt nothing, the whole world went black around me as calm fell over me, I saw Joey smiling in the shadows from the distance, and I felt nothing but peace, I smiled back.

~~~~~~~~

I cried for my son Criss and I cried for everyone else who would of been here. In her psychotic state Avicanna Miller killed 102 kids in a raging house fire. Among those victim's were Mary Right, my son’s current girlfriend, Joey Rodriguez, and of course my only son Christopher Young. During the investigation of this fire and autopsy it was shown that Criss had been stabbed to death as was Mary. Joey had only one deep but fatal stab wound to the heart which supposedly and hopefully instantaneously killed him,  and Avicanna herself had simply been crushed when the house caved in. All other parties involve were slowly burned to death and I grave at the fact those poor kids had to suffer so greatly in the end. My house is no longer standing and with my wife, and son now dead I have nothing left in this town, therefore I am selling the property to the highest bidder and leave this town with a heavy heart. My Avicanna Miller rot in hell for evil deed and my those poor kids rest in peace.

-Harold Young

~~~~~~~~

5 Months later

“hey sweety, check this out” I handed my husband the classified adds in the newspaper pointing to a specific add that had caught my eye “Wouldn’t that be perfect to build are summer getaway on?” I smiled at him my eyes pleading with him to agree. “Ah yeah, look at that, that would be nice.” He said looking at the paper with content sparkling in his eyes, “I think I’ll call tomorrow and see what we can do.” “I think that is a fabulous idea.” I smiled as I kissed him on the cheek and wrapped my arms around him. I stared at that property, a deep want filled my being and I knew no matter what the cost, I would own that land, and I would own it soon.

house property for sell (sale)

about 1.5 acres of wood lands

sell price $1,500

I wanted it so bad, something called me to the spot and I didn't quite know what it was but I wanted it so bad I would kill for it. for a moment i didn't care if I killed my dear husband, as long as I had this land.  “Tomorrow are you going to call them?” I asked while I wondered i was going insane thinking this awful thought  “O definitely, it’s definitely worth a shot.” He smiled up at me, and at that beautiful smile, I regained all the  calmness I had felt moments before the strange thoughts passed my mind, That property will be mine I thought one last time, It will, be mine.